Letter to my Daughter

NYC birthed me!

Dear Skylar,

You are phenomenal: don’t let anyone tell you any different.

From the way you flow through the universe, to the way you cackle when you laugh.

From the beautiful dark skin you wear to the tight enclosures you give — the world will try to break you.

They will say that you are too dark, or too skinny, that there is something wrong with you.

That you aren’t pretty enough!

They will say that you come from another black woman and therefore, can’t amount to much.

They will say horrible things about me because of who I am and my unapologetic ways.

They will say horrible things about you because of what you represent… because of where you come from.

They will say you are dumb or stupid or unworthy because of who they think you are.

You will look around and see many of your brothers and sisters slain —

Some days will be hard for you, for me, for us!

There will be days that we don’t speak — days that we don’t see eye to eye.

There will be nights that you cry yourself to sleep because you feel like no one understands you: me included.

There will be cold shoulders, plenty of silent treatment sessions, and yelling matchings between us.

There will be times where there feels like an ocean is between us.

We will tear down walls and build high ones —

We will scorch the earth trying to prove who is more hot-headed.

We will hurt so bad and love so hard that it seems easier to die.

There will be times that you question yourself —

where you question your worth:

DON’T !

Remember that you are forged from royalty!

You were made NOT to break; therefore, you can not be broken!

You may want to know how I know these things?

The answer is because you come from me.

In it’s purest form, you are me and I am you.

For you will be the only person who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside —

Only you have heard my most inner thoughts and felt my excitement and fear simultaneously.

Only you have known what it has been to be me, go through what I have gone through;

the only person who’s completely of me —

a love and a bond so strong that to bring you into this world, I had to die first!

A smile so bright, it shines brighter than the sun.

Your hair is tough and strong — like the broad shoulders of your ancestors; like the soul of your mother.

Don’t be discouraged when you look around and compare yourself to others your age, they don’t know your plight.

Don’t be disheartened when you don’t get it the first time.

I might not have had every answer for you, every fix to the things that keep you up at night;but I will never leave your side.

I can promise that in me: you have a confidant, a friend, a sister, a mother, a pusher, a fixer, a provider, a supporter, a father, an aunt or uncle, a shoulder, a tear wiper, a teacher, a trouble starter, a troubler ender and a hugger.

I will kiss each boo-boo and chastise every wrong.

I will push back and I will pull closer.

I will not always be the perfect listener but with everything in me, I will try.

I will try to think before I speak and I will say ‘I am sorry’ when you tell me I am wrong.

I will scream and curse and breakdown just like the rest of them.

I will be a giant in your eyes but I will be fragile in your presence, as well.

I will skip a few cleaning days and I will feed you takeout.

I will cook organic rice and bake grass-fed chickens.

I will strip you of sweets and still give you chocolate milk from McDonalds

because only God knows that I am not perfect; even when you think I am.

I will blast Mozart and Pop Smoke all in the same hour.

I will waltz and twerk to Salsa music.

I will cry while laughing and laugh while crying.

I will be broken, damaged and still attempt to be Super Woman for you.

I will do this and anything else required of me because I love you:

from your little toes to your lint entangled coils.

I love you for you and nothing you could do or say would make me change my mind about the place you have in my heart, the space you have taken in my soul.

So please be comfortable enough to come to me with your flaws, your tears, your smiles, your squeals — I want to share it all with you.

Don’t let your first heartbreak, break you — for there are more.

Understand that I am not flawless, but for you, I have tried.

And if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change not one thing.

Because the truth of the matter is, you gave me the only thing that was ever worth living for.

For you, I would have gone ten lifetimes waiting for such purity —

For you, I would have fought one thousand wars —

For you, I would have traveled a never ending sea —

For you, I would have done the impossible, because only you have never given up on me.

And so, as uncertain as I was when I found out about you: I have never been more sure of anything in my life: I love you and always will!

Love,

Mommm

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